~~~ I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
~~~ I had amnesia once -- or twice.
~~~ I went to San Francisco . I found someone's heart. Now what?
~~~ Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
~~~ All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
~~~ If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.
~~~ What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
~~~ They told me I was gullible and I believed them.
~~~ Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.
~~~ Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
~~~ One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
~~~ My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.
~~~ I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
~~~ The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
~~~ How can there be self-help "groups"?
~~~ If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
~~~ Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.
~~~ Is it me -- or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
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"Blessed is the man who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed."
Alexander Pope
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