Cute Quotations

"We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police."
Jeff Marder.

"An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex."
Edgar Wallace.

"In an underdeveloped country don't drink the water. In a developed country don't breathe the air."
Jonathan Raban.

" New Zealand is a country of thirty thousand million sheep, three million of whom think they are human."
Barry Humphries.

"The only English words I saw in Japan were Sony and Mitsubishi."
Bill Gullickson.

"Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in
prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list."
Yakov Smirnoff.

"Living on Earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the sun."
Ashleigh Brilliant.

"If you think your boss is stupid remember; you wouldn't have a job if he was smarter."
Albert Grant.

"I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everyone to tell me the
truth--even if it costs him his job."
Samuel Goldwyn.

"My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more."
Walter Matthau.

"Every morning I get up and look through the BRW list of the richest
people in Australia. If I'm not there, I go to work."
Robert Orben.
"Part of the $10 million I spent on gambling, part on booze and part on women. The rest I spent foolishly."
George Raft.

"It is not enough to do your best; you must know what to do, and THEN do your best".
W. Edwards Deming

"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm."
Winston Churchill

"The only way to make your PC go faster is to throw it out a window."
Robert Paul

"The question of whether computers can think is like the question of whether submarines can swim."
EdsgarDijkstra

"Doing nothing is very hard to do...you never know when you're finished."
Leslie Nielsen

"Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive."
Elbert Hubbard